4 Parties

I think maybe we are crazy. We took Boyo to 4 parties this weekend. What is confusing to me is that he cries much less with lots of noise, commotion, new people and late hours than if he is just sitting at home on a normal day. Although most parents probably wouldn't attempt this, it seems to have worked out fine for us and I'd do it again. I suppose it will get worse as he gets older and is less portable.

The bars in Mpls have gone no smoking so all I need to maintain my rock n roll lifestyle now is an effective set of baby earplugs or a little decibel reader so I know when music is too loud for baby ears. I am sure that some of the outdoor concerts I have been to this year would fall outside the safe range.

I don't know why my parenting philosophy is so opposite of most people's. Most parents seem to think that they should not attempt to put their children in any environment they might not like. I prefer to do the things that I like- barring any obvious dangers to a 5 month old. If he likes it- great. If he doesn't he'll let me know and we will remove him from the environment/comfort him/etc. He doesn't seem to mind when I'm dancing with him to a Ramones song instead of a Raffi song and I think he will probably get a lot more out of a happy mom that an environment smoothed of all edges.

Time Wasters

Ack! I should be blocked from these sites. Hopefully they are both passing obsessions:

Web Suduko

Celebritrade

Dream Laughs

Some of my favorite things:

• Baby laughing in his sleep

• Dog barking in his sleep

Boyo woke me up at 4:55 am. I fed him and put him back in his bassinet by the side of our bed. As I am drifting off to sleep I suddenly hear chuckling. I look at Boyo and he is chortling and smiling in his sleep. It just blows me away that in 5 short months he has gone from a being that could not even focus on what's around him or smile to a small boy who has his own internal world that can generate dreams that make him laugh.

Our pug dog, Voltron is also quite amusing. It cracks me up when he has dreams that inspire a muffled barking. Sometimes they even startle him awake and he'll jump up from sleeping to run to the door and bark at some imaginary intuder.

I AM Evie Saltine

Since starting this blog I've been grappling with the issue of how anonymous to make it. I have created pseudonyms for my family but do I include pictures? Do I include pictures of the pets and the baby but not of the adults? Should I withhold or change details of a story? I don't have any illusion that I am completely unidentifiable to people who know me. I had a radio show on a public access station for 9 years so I am well aware of the creepy ownership that listeners can feel for you and fully expect there to be some freaks (not in a good way) reading this. They are hopefully outnumbered by the quiet masses that I hope to entertain briefly on their journey through the web.

Yesterday I got to take on a pseudonym in front of hundreds of people. We enjoyed a beautiful summer evening at movies and music in the park with some friends. My friend 'Evie Saltine' had to leave before the night was over and told me "If I win the $100 gift basket you can pretend you're me." She did win and I ran up as Evie Saltine and claimed my prize. I knew the guy that was DJing on stage but he just smirked and I picked up my gift basket and was photographed as Evie.

There are a couple of interesting commentaries on blogging over at Bitch Ph.D. Here's one on blogging anonymously and here's one about the nanny that made the mistake of telling her employer about her blog. Of course I am also thinking about Valerie Plume who's life was endangered by the evil Karl Rove's leak and the reporters pressed to reveal their anonymous sources in that case. Link to a primer on the scandel.

Quiz: Doll or Baby?

Can you tell which of the photos is of a child and which is of a doll?

The one on the left is Izzie, the February winner of a child pageant photo contest in the 0-18 months category! The one on the right is Charli, a doll sold on Ebay for $606.06. Charli is a product of reborning where great efforts are made to create a doll that looks exactly like a newborn while Izzie is a child whose photo has been retouched to match some bizarre glamour-shots-for-tots aesthetic.

Both are adult idealizations of childhood that create something unreal and monsterous. When I look at Boyo I am torn between trying to absorb as much 'baby' as I can because I know it goes so fast and being insanely curious about what he will grow into. It would be great if years from now I could come back and hold him as a baby for a few minutes. My sister once mentioned how cool it would be if you could look at a baby and imagine what they would be like as an adult the same way you can look at an adult and imagine what they were like as a baby. I guess this is what these age maps are trying to get at but they also end up looking creepy.











Thanks to BoingBoing for the pageant photography and age map info.

Baby Weight

I reached a milestone today. This morning the scale read the same as my pre-pregnancy weight. I hope I'm not jinxing this by writing about it but I am frankly amazed that it has been this easy. We are a week shy of Boyo being 5 months old and I thought it would take a lot longer. I have always struggled to stay on the upper edge of a 'normal' weight and took over a year to lose 15 pounds before I got pregnant. I'm still trying to make sense of the factors that have contributed to the weight coming off. Here are some contenders:

• Breastfeeding: I've read this takes 500 calories a day
  
• The Boyo is happiest in his stroller or being carried so we've done a lot of walking
• Running: I starting running as soon as I could, not huge distances but I did make myself run a 5k a couple weeks ago
• Walking and running have both been made easier by the Bob Revolution stroller- a total splurge but the front wheel locks for running and unlocks for easy maneuvering and it's our only stroller
• Boyo does not like to sit. He likes to be in motion so I am more active now
• I've become too cheap to go out to lunch at work so I'm eating healthier during the day
• There is just so much to do. Motopop and I had been used to long stretches of couchsitting and tv watching but now things like laundry and cooking have to be shoved into the schedule somewhere which means more time on your feet
• Prenatal yoga helped me stay in shape during pregnancy

I was worried that pregnancy would make me feel bad about my body but it has had the opposite effect. Before pregnancy being on the heavy end seemed like a personal failure. After pregnancy I had a REASON to be carrying extra weight and my body had accomplished the amazing task of growing an entire person. I felt good about my body even though my stomach was floppy and full of stretch marks.

Since I am still breastfeeding I am not dieting or making an effort to lose weight. I am looking at this period as a chance for my weight to reset itself to it's ideal level. This could be now or it could be ten to twenty pounds less. I would still be in the 'normal' weight range if I lost more but the Boyo's nutrition it the top priority now.

Summer Vacation

I spent the long weekend in beautiful northern Minnesota where trees grow directly out of rocks. Here is a picture courtesy of my cousin:

There are many things growing in my neighborhood as well. There are many beautiful boulevard gardens near my house and one has a very interesting plant. Amongst the weeds growing around a tree in the boulevard there is a marijuana plant. I check on it every time I walk by. I'm waiting to see if anyone notices.

hipster ex machina

Nike stealing Minor Threat cover art (they have since apologized) is just further evidence that I am the 'Target Market' or at least that my Indie-Yuppie peers are firmly embedded in the corporate machine. What's a girl to do now that bands she likes are featured in car ads and television shows?

I came across this thread on what might happen if corporations raided more album cover art via Soviet Panda. Here are some of my favorites.

I especially like these ones because they sabotage the whole point of the original art. I mean, can you imagine "Good Morning, Captain" happening on a cruise ship? I suppose you'd find quiet desperation there somewhere but it's not what you'd want to promote.

Advertising is definately changing. I don't know if the advertisers are so postmodern that they cannot remove self-referential irony from their work or if everything has just been done before.

Advertising has become so desperate that local businesses have begun delving into slogans that have bizarre cultural references like "Nothing but happy endings" and "The proof is in the purple." Did these advertisers consciously pick phrases that refer to illicit massages and the Donner party?

Is It Wrong to Quote Taxi Driver to Your Baby?

In looking over AFI's list of top 100 movie quotes I realized that one of the phrases I say to Boyo most often- "Are you talking to me? Are YOU talking to me?" is directly from Travis Bickle's mouth overlayed with my own motherly treacle.


Travis

Motopop and I have also adopted the seemingly benign "Shuggie" as a nickname for Boyo in his happy state. This also has dark roots- one of the many disturbing/wonderful segments of Wonder Showzen.


Shuggie?

I am hoping that the Brothers Grimm and the composers of Ring Around the Rosie didn't damage children too much since I can't quite stop entertaining myself by embedding the adult material I am used to into baby talk.

Being Your Own DJ

The beauty of online music is that you can act as your own DJ and find the music that suits you best. The drawback is that there is so much out there that you need kindred spirits to point you in the right direction. Although we have some excellent radio stations here, most notably Radio K and the Current, I still find that the music I download is an excellent tool for figuring out what I want to buy and who I want to see when they come through town.

I have also found myself making mixed CDs for my friends when I am inspired by events in their life. In the spirit of sharing great music and composing an interesting mix CD I entered the Summer Soundtrack contest on Salon.com and I thought I would share it with you.

It was inspired by many of our great Minneapolis bands and the increasing quality of Canadian exports.

Hot Summer Music from Cold Places

1. Death From Above 1979 - Blood on Our Hands - You're a Woman, I'm a Machine
From Toronto

2. Sahara Hotnights- Alright Alright (Here's my Fist Where's the Fight?) - Jennie Bomb
From Sweden

3. Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) - Funeral
From Montreal

4. Walker Kong - Battleship of Thieves - There Goes the Sun
From Minneapolis

5. Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight - Elevator
From Vancouver

5. Metric - Combat Baby - Old World Underground, Where Are You Now
Originally from Canada

6. The Soviettes - #1 Is Number Two - LP II
From Minneapolis

7. Stars - Ageless Beauty - Set Yourself On Fire
From Canada

8. Atmosphere - Trying To Find A Balance - Seven's Travels
From Minneapolis

9. Dosh - Naoise - Naoise
From Minneapolis

10. Valet - Tony Harnes & Johnny Ave VS. Elvis Presley - Life on the Installment Plan
From Minneapolis

11. Pony Up! - Shut Up and Kiss Me - S/T
From Montreal

Cage Match: Tom Cruise vs. Kansas City School Board

Now that I'm a spiritual person following FSM teachings, other religions are starting to look a little strange. I woke up to Tom Cruise on the Today Show and listened to a bizarre debate between him and Matt Lauer over whether Ritalin works for anyone at all. I am so glad that Tom Cruise has such in depth knowledge of the biochemistry of the human brain. That E-Meter must be a lot more enlightening than the 8 years of intensive medical training that those psychiatrists go through.

Learn more about the Secrets of Scientology and how to audit an aphid using an E-Meter. Since the E-Meter is "about the only electronic gadget that is also an official religious artifact" Gizmodo had created the one and only edition of Religious Gadget Thursdays in its honor.

I Knew Pirates Were Involved!

Finally a religion I can get down with. If I'd only known about the 10 million underground worshipers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster earlier! We definately want the Kansas City School Board to require the FSM creation story be taught along with Intelligent Design and Evolution:

Open Letter to the Kansas City School Board

I think Motopop is converted as well since this religion contains so many of his favorite things: a midget, pirates, spaghetti. . . Maybe he will even get a chance to be Pope since the Catholic Church completely snubbed him in the last round.

I especially like this chart that explains how global warming has increased as the number of pirates have declined:


Arrgh, it's hot out here!

Liquid and Love

Happy Summer Solstice!

Drove into work along the mighty Mississippi swollen with the rainwaters from greenskied storms. The sun was celebrating the longest day of the year and Sleater Kinney was playing on the stereo. I thought about this quote from the blog section of their website:

It was the heat we always try to get to, the hot core where everything disintegrates into liquid and love and then when it's over it's like the whole structure has been reshaped and it's hard to remember what it looked like before.

I thought this type of transformative punk rock was in the realm of teenagers but it also fits with being a new mom. I feel reshaped and I am forgetting what a world without Boyo was like.

You Gotta Love a Good Manifesto

I have wished to have a manifesto of my own ever since an acquaintance grew a Grizzly Adams beard, dropped off the grid, and spent a year writing his manifesto. Unfortunately people like Stalin and the Unibomber have given manifestos a bad name.

Maybe topics like crafts and urban renewal will bring the manifesto back into vogue:

Craft Manifesto

Heavy Trash Manifesto

New Records

I bought three new records yesterday:

The Soviettes- LP II
The Decemberists- Picaresque
Sleater Kinney- The Woods

Sleater Kinney was in town this week. Just one of several great shows I did not attend. Also missed Spoon and Stephen Malkmus. So many other things distracting me from the Rock and Roll Lifestyle- friends from out of town, 4 month old baby... I guess I can't complain because those are wonderful things to be distracted by and I can still buy the records.

Chookooloonks: The Shop

Check out Chookooloonks' new shop. You can get beautiful photos of Trinidad on stuff and the proceeds go to support increasing adoptions from the foster care system.

Chookooloonks: The Shop

Prison Rodeo

I knew as soon as I started this blog I would find something incredibly bizarre to share with all of my phantom readers. It looks as if Louisiana is on the cutting edge of prison marketing with their Angola Prison Rodeo. I found this on Sprol, a planetary sightseeing blog of some of the worst places in the world. They also have some excellent commentary on the harsh conditions that contrast with this popular event that takes place in a 10,000 seat stadium each Sunday in October.

I guess if we're going to keep filling up prisons instead of finding ways to integrate people back into society all prisons are going to have to turn into entertainment complexes to get by.

The Pump House

I am starting this blog so that I can share all the web detritus I run into while I am pumping to feed my baby boy. Here is a picture of how I feel three times a day:


The pump station